Is What We Had Lost?

Yesterday Shaun and I attended church for the first time in a long while.  Between conflicting work and school schedules and way to many excuses we have simply drifted away from the habit of worshipping with fellow believers every Sunday.  However, together we have decided that we both want this to become a big part of our lives.  We went to Harvest Bible Chapel-Indy West, located in the Regal Cinemas.  Having gone there several times before I was confident that we would receive a sermon that would challenge us and worship that would emotionally draw us in, however, I did not expect what happened to me at the service.

As I was observing people interact during the worship I noticed two men weaving there way in and out of the crowd.  One was wearing a red shirt, and one was wearing an orange shirt.  The man in the red shirt first gave announcements and then sat down with his wife and kids.  But as soon as the service started he got up and started offering Bibles to anyone who had forgotten theirs.  The man in the orange shirt had planted himself by the entrance to greet whatever latecomers were straggling in, a genuine smile plastered on his face.  He also got up to count each section in the church-noting how many people were present. Both of these men had previously greeted us with enthusiasm and joy, happy to see newcomers to their church. 

Now, these probably seem like odd things to notice to most people.  Nevertheless, as I saw all these things culminate I was hit by a wave of emotion.  Literally so strong that it brought tears to my eyes.  These two men reminded me of the men in my childhood church who had served for years behind the scenes-greeting latecomers, passing out Bibles, counting the congregation and so much more.  Men who led the church in whatever position it required of them.  These men-my three fathers, Thaddaeus Poe, James Hess, and Richard Haak- have changed my life in ways I can't even count.  Yesterday, I was saddened because I realized what I had lost.  Here I was starting over.  This body of believers that I had grown up in has long since dispersed and I am now left to find something similiar to it. 

As we left the service I reminisced about the days when our church was its strongest.  When Uncle Rich and my dad led Bible studies for the Youth Group on topics that most kids don't study till they're in college.  How we used to watch sermons on a TV.  The powerful singing we used to have.  But most of all I remembered the community.  How every Sunday I would walk into the church building and it really just felt like I was coming into another home.  That's what I won't forget.  And that's what I hope to find. 

Attitude Adjustment

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."

                                                      --Winston Churchill

 

I can think of a few examples in the last several weeks where simply adopting a new attitude has turned my day around.  Instead of wallowing in the dreadfulness of my current situation I remembered this phrase and made the executive decision that I was not going to have a bad day.  Every day is a blessing from God and I do not want to waste a single moment.  This is a new outlook for me.  Many of you know that I'm not particularly good at letting things go.  However, with the help of the Lord and a phenomenal husband I'm learning to let the little things go.

 

• Working in a government agency that spends millions of dollars every year to help the public is a wonderful experience.  However, it also has it downfalls.  Due to recent budget cuts (both at the federal and state level) many programs are losing funding.  Instead of realizing how dire the financial crisis is in the United States, its citizens are more content to point fingers at goverment employees and elected officials.  This can be extremely disheartening, especially being a brand new employee in the system.  The last few days have been particularly rough at work.  Explaining to constituents that they simply don't qualify for funding is not an easy business.  Staying calm when someone accuses me of not working hard enough to provide them with resources takes all the willpower I have.  When I find myself starting to lose my cool at work I take several deep breaths and look at a post-it I have up in my cube.  It reads. "Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding."  This quote, by Gandhi reminds me that I'm not going to accomplish anything worthwhile if I get angry.  After calming myself down I am more patient and understanding with constituents.  Take the time to say a prayer, or empty your mind, or repeat a quote to yourself that reminds you why you're doing your job.  

• Another example of an attitude change that made a day a million times better was oddly enough on my wedding day.  The morning of my wedding day I woke up feeling on top of the world.  I was wildly excited to marry Shaun and could not wait for the day to get started.  However, as the morning progressed some issues between friends and families started to seriously stress me out.  I got caught up in the drama of what was going on.  While getting my hair done, my good friend Jenn looked at me and said, "Kristen, just let everything else go.  This is your wedding day.  Concentrate on you and Shaun only."  That simple advice made me realize that on that day, nothing else did matter.  Whatever craziness that was going on around me really didn't.  I took that advice to heart and enjoyed the rest of my wedding day to the fullest.

I'm going to continue to implement these attitude changes over the next several months.  The Lord is teaching me that there are things so much bigger than my life.  I want to learn about those things :)   

 

 

Meditation

Sola Scriptura: The Scripture Alone is the Standard

Soli Deo Gloria: For the Glory of God Alone

Solo Christo: By Christ's Work Alone are We Saved

Sola Gratia: Salvation by Grace Alone

Sola Fide: Justification by Faith Alone

"I Don't Wanna Grow Up"

"Growing up is such a barbarous business, full of inconvenience... and pimples."

-Captain Hook

I've been struggling lately with how solemn my life has become.  This is not to say that I've suddenly lost all joy in life, but merely to say that I've realized the focus of my conversations has drifted from less trivial things to more serious subjects.  While I appreciate and glean knowledge from some of these conversations, many of them leave me wanting a flippant carefree conversation that does nothing to enhance my cerebral capacity. 

Maybe this needs a deeper explanation.  The last few months have brought many changes in my/our lives.  Marriage, new jobs, bills, pets and planning for the future are not things I am used to.  Instead of discussing the fabulous adventures we're going to take after college, Shaun and I spend the evenings creating budgets and discussing home loans.  Is this our new adventure? 

Each stage of life is exciting, but this seems much too grown up for me.  My mind is still whirling with Peter Pan like adventures of pirates, high sea battles, and mermaids.  I dream of Thailand, China, Australia, New Zealand, and Papua New Guinea.  Nothing but a backpack strapped to my back exploring caves and biking from place to place.  When our conversations do drift to these things we are always more tentative then we were in college.  Plans are laid out, funds considered, timelines created, and before you know it the adventure is almost gone.  Is this because we’re growing up?  Or because we’re being responsible?

I wish I could escape to a place like Neverland sometimes.  Where responsibilities don’t exist.  And adventure reigns supreme.  How many of you dream of that too? 

Peter: “Forget them, Wendy. Forget them all. Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again.”

Wendy: “Never is an awfully long time.”



Wifely Wedding Wonderings

Last night I was going through wedding gifts, cards, etc and I was overwhelmed by how much I (well we I guess) were loved.  The outpouring of generosity from our friends and family made me feel like the most important person in the world.  I started to wonder why we only take the time to show people how important they are when significant events happen in their lives.  So many things are cause for celebration other than graduations, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, and births. 

                This thought gave me an idea.  There’s no reason to only give gifts and random acts of love on days of celebration.  And so, I have resolved to start celebrating random events.  God calls us to love one another, and the way I love best is by giving gifts.  Buying someone a pair of shoes or a big bunch of golden sunflowers, or stopping by with some DQ ice cream never ceases to make someone’s day.  This act of love blesses both the giver and the receiver.  The ear-to-ear smile I see when I randomly bring someone a gift is infectious.  Remembering that smile during a bad day gives me a burst of happiness.  It also promotes selflessness.  Putting others before yourself is always a good habit.  This act may also prompt the receiver to start doing the same thing.  Spreading love in family groups and even on to strangers is definitely something we need to practice.  Or at least I know I need to practice. 

                And so, as I start this journey I invite my friends and family to also join me.  Start giving gifts, smiles, and hugs.  Whatever your language of love is spread it freely.  The Lord has called us to shine His light into the world.  Burn brightly.  Let there be no doubt that we burn with the fire of Christ.